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Helping Children with Career Choice

Children need guidance in learning how to choose a career. We know that career possibilities in the form of elimination begin to emerge at the pre-school age when children first begin to see careers as a function of gender. This can be as simple as assuming that whatever mom works at is a ‘girl’ job and whatever dad does is a ‘boy’ job or it can also be a result of hearing one’s parents speak about certain careers as being ‘not good’. If a parent consistently complains about their job a child may eliminate that as a possible career not realizing that it is the specific environment that is making the parent unhappy.

So when do children often first hear that one day they will be expected to have a job – that is when someone says “What do you want to be when you grow up”. This question can be really confusing because it assumes that a small child might actually know what they want to do when they are adults. Technically it is a ridiculous question which many of us have been asked and even asked our own children; however what we really need to be asking is “what do you like to do” or “what are you good at doing”. Even if our children are very small and do not necessarily know what they are good at doing or are more likely to respond ‘recess’ to what they like to do, these questions are meant to make them think. If repeated enough during their early years they will learn to think about what they are good at rather than what they are not good at and they may pay attention when someone says “Wow you are really good at this”. You yourself can take a small test. Take five minutes and write down what you are good at and then take five minutes to write down what you are not good at; see how much easier the latter is than the former.

The first tenet of career development is “Know yourself” and when we ask children or teenagers what they like to do and what they are good at we are helping them to negotiate this first stage. If they are confident in what they enjoy and what they do well they will look for careers that access these attributes. When there is a good fit between our personalities and the job, career satisfaction and happiness is far more accessible. The question “What do you want to do when you grow up” jumps to the second tenet of career development which is “Know what is out there”. Career is difficult today because there are so many choices and this can be very confusing and even debilitating for teenagers who are trying to figure out what they want to do. But if we keep children on the first tenet before they move to the second they will have more confidence and even though they will never know all of their options they will have already circumscribed the world of career down to a sphere of their own preferences and strengths. And of course the last tenet is “Know how the two (you and what is out there) go together”. One may love working with people but if they hate the sight of blood then a medical career might not be a good option.

So as parents a good approach would be to focus on helping your children to know themselves and that includes what they enjoy and what they do not like. When children say “I hate history” it is far better to explore what it is about history they do not like than just saying “Oh it’s not that bad”. One of the major intelligences is intrapersonal intelligence and this is something that can be developed by being taught very early that it is important to know yourself.

If this type of exploration is something that you have never done yourself you can start right now. When are you the most serene; what parts of your job do you really like; what parts do you not like; what made you choose this career in the first place and of course my favorite question “If you won the lottery on Saturday night where would you be on Monday morning”. For many people it would be at their workplace but unfortunately the numbers are far too few, which tells us a great number of people are really not happy in their job. Self-exploration and understanding yourself are important elements of the career process. If you are thinking of a career transition and feel stuck in this process you can always speak with a therapist who is knowledgeable in the field of career. And the counsellors that are typically available through the schools our children attend can be an excellent resource to them as they navigate their career decisions.

Written by: Judith Norton, R.N., Ph.D.


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