A big part of the work in psychotherapy is to examine how we are perceiving events in our lives. This includes increasing awareness for how we are interpreting, what we think & feel about and how we respond to them. Last week I wrote about the different ways our nervous system responds to perceived threats in the environment https://wellnessinmind.ca/blog/a-few-new-f-words-for-you/.

These responses happen very quickly, often below the level of awareness, and are based on our prior experiences. While we may inherit certain sensitivities, but mostly we learn from experience.

For example, if you grew up listening to your parents argue and you felt afraid, you may experience fear of conflict now. If you changed schools during childhood, you might struggle to trust your relationships. If you are a survivor of any kind of abuse, be it neglect, emotional, physical or sexual, threat perceptions are intensified.

Our nervous system works very closely with the senses such that anything that currently looks, smells, sounds, tastes or physically feels like an experience that was threatening in the past, will quickly trigger the threat response in your nervous system. The more we perceive danger and respond in compensatory ways such as fighting, avoidance or people pleasing, the more we reinforce this pattern.

Learning to slow down and examine your perceptions will help you catch these patterns. I encourage you to pause and reflect upon how dangerous your experiences really are. Some questions to guide you in this include: What am I afraid will happen? How dangerous is it? Do I have resources to manage this danger?

It is important to do this genuinely and with compassion. For example, current experiences may be dangerous and require a plan to protect yourself. And even when you catch yourself overestimating danger, a compassionate understanding for how your nervous system is trying to protect you from re-experiencing past danger will help support you in helping your nervous system to learn new perceptions.

If you or anyone you know is struggling to change patterned behavior, give us a call at 514 223 5327 or fill out our contact form at https://wellnessinmind.ca/contact-us/ Our therapists are currently accepting new clients. Wishing you wellness.
Written by Shawna Atkins, Ph.D., OPQ., Psychologist