We hope that our recent blog on hope has provided ideas for you to practice building hope for yourself and your loved ones since it has such a powerful impact on how we experience our lives.

You have probably heard of the expression “false hope” and many of us have experienced the ups and downs that the roller coaster of false hopes creates. Hoping for the raise, the grade, for someone to notice us… Sometimes these hopes come true and they make us happy for awhile, but when they don’t we fall prey to despair. This version of hope takes a toll on our health and our well being.

One of the ways to find out if your hopes are false is if they are based in fear, as though you will not be ok if they do not materialize. False hope is narrow and grasping. It comes from poverty, as though we lack something. It is when we cling to things needing to be a certain way. And false hope tends to be kind of magical and passive.
Does this sound familiar at all?

We help our clients become aware of the pitfalls of false hope and we help them redefine their hopes into something more substantial such that they correspond to their values to ensure that they are meaningful and important to them. Even false hopes have a foundation that is open to possibility. Our hopes may have gotten narrow from fear, but with a little probing, they can unfold into something broader and more attainable. For example, we might hope to come into some money and with this we might fantasize about winning the lottery or inheriting from a relative. At the root of this hope may be the value of financial security and when we bring this to light we can explore realistic ways to achieve this.

To transform our hopes from false to real, we need to explore what really matters to us. If you do not already have a clear sense of what this may be for you, take a value exercise to help you clarify what is important to you. Then examine how much the way you are living now resonates with these values. The extent that these are discrepant predicts hopelessness and it will give you an idea about how much work needs to be done.

Once hopes are grounded in values as opposed to fear, they have more breadth. We can more easily identify several pathways to realize them in our lives. Acting on these varied ways to make our hopes come true is crucial so be sure to get going on whatever action plans you identify.

If you or anyone you know need help to build meaningful hope in your life, we can help. You can reach us at 514 223 5327 to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians.

Written by: Shawna Atkins, Ph.D., OPQ, Psychologist