Erectile difficulties are more prevalent than we might think and affect men of all ages. There is a commonly held belief that medication will solve the problem – and it might. However for many men erectile dysfunction (ED) is not a physical problem but a psychological one.

The “little blue pill” (a.k.a., Viagra) will likely help you get an erection but it does not address why your penis was not getting erect in the first place. Taking a pill involves planning and sometimes secrecy while getting to the root of the problem can help men to regain a sense of mastery in their sex lives. Few people are aware of how beneficial counselling/sex therapy can be for ED by addressing the psychological side of the problem.

The most predominant cause of ED is anxiety. We all know that a man needs to be aroused to get an erection but we overlook a second crucial ingredient – he also needs to be relaxed. When we are anxious we are in “fight or flight” mode – our body is tense, we have tunnel vision focused on imminent danger, we are sweating, our digestion slows and we are basically bracing ourselves to face a tiger attack. Fight-or-flight mode is adaptive in some situations but not for sex. Feeling anxious in sexual situations does not lead to satisfying sexual encounters. For men, your mind is not primed for an erection, to say the least. Counselling/sex therapy can help you learn how to bring tension down and bring relaxation up, boost arousal and connect with your sexual partner.

Here are some of the ways that counselling/sex therapy can help with ED:

1. Learn to identify stressors and develop healthy coping strategies to decrease their impact.
2. Discover and challenge some of the negative thoughts you have come to associate with sex and your erection.
3.  Learn ways to boost your self-esteem and regain confidence in yourself as a sexual being.
4. Learn relaxation techniques that can create a state of mind conducive for good sex.
5. Learn how to decrease stress in your relationship(s).
6. Practice effective communication so that you are able to openly discuss the problem with your partner and feel less alone.
7. Find out how certain unhealthy habits may be affecting your erection such as smoking and lack of exercise.
8. Discover how you can increase your libido.

Men who experience ED often feel ashamed, alone and hopeless. It is important to know that help is out there; you can overcome ED by seeking out a mental health professional trained in treating sexual problems.

To learn more about how to overcome erectile dysfunction call to consult with Andrea Guschlbauer at (514) 223-5327.

Written by: Andrea Guschlbauer, Ph.D.