Many of us have found ourselves being concerned at how unhappy we can be. We have a tendency to highlight the negatives in life, which to a certain degree can be attributed to evolution and the way our brains are wired. From this perspective focusing on the negative kept humans alive. Thousands of years ago, this “quality” meant that if there was any chance of coming to harm we would be prepared (fight or flight). Nowadays, it tends to lead to anxiety and depression (among other concerns).

What can be done? Well, we’ve already taken a look at a few things (please see “The Eternal Search for Happiness Part One”) but here are a few more to consider.

Savor: There can be a big difference between having an experience and really savoring it. Take the time to really enjoy all the little things in life. Turn enjoyable momentary experiences into longer lasting happiness boosts. Do not just have a sip of your morning coffee, really take in the entire experience. Feel the warmth of the mug on your hands. Smell the pleasant scent coming from the beverage. Really taste it in your mouth (as opposed to simply consuming it). Normally each sip would take a second, but prolong it to 5-10 seconds and notice the difference. For more information about this savoring, please see our blog on increasing life satisfaction.

Socialize: In general, being social would mean friends and family. However, it doesn’t have to be. Many people who are unhappy highlight the fact that they may not have close connections, however, you do not necessarily have to be close with someone to get the happiness benefits of being social. Strike up a conversation with a barista or someone beside you on public transport. Take the step of talking to a colleague in the lunch room who normally you may not have.

Strive: Set goals for yourself and really work towards attaining them. Do not just write them on a list and forget about them. It may be a good idea to incorporate SMART goals in this process (goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). Challenge yourself to improve. Keep in mind, the idea is to focus on the process and not the end result.

Explore: Gaining new experiences is a good way to increase happiness. Get out there and try new things, be adventurous! But please use your best judgement and above all else be safe. The idea behind striving and stretching is to reach enough outside your comfort zone to stimulate dopamine production in the brain without putting yourself in danger such that we reinforce the negative thinking explained above.

Optimism: This is probably the most difficult one from the batch. It takes practice. But actively engaging in working on your mindset can have lasting positive effects. Much can be said of “fake it ‘til you make it” but one strong suggestion would be to consider being as genuine with yourself as possible. Is it at all possible to focus on the silver lining? Or perhaps a positive learning experience? And remember that highlighting positives does not mean ignoring negatives or pretending they do not exist.

Sleep: Get a good night’s sleep. Sleep plays a very important role in both physical and psychological functioning. Although most people would agree that sleep is paramount in one’s life, it tends to be one of the first things brushed aside. Work, social engagements and other activities seem to take priority. We have this belief that we can catch up on the weekend or function normally with less sleep when neither of these statements are true. For ideas on improving your quality of sleep you can refer to our blog titled getting a better night’s sleep.

If you are feeling unhappy and would like more support please call us to consult with one of our therapists at (514) 223-5327. We would be more than happy to help.

Written by: Robin Jolivet M.A.